Why Is Forgiveness So Hard?

Forgiveness Is Simple to Say, But Hard to Do

We’ve all been there—someone has hurt us deeply, and while we know God calls us to forgive, actually doing it feels impossible. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful acts of faith, but also one of the hardest. Why? Because forgiveness doesn’t just touch the mind—it touches the heart.

“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” — Colossians 3:13

The truth is, forgiveness goes against our human instincts. We want justice, we want apologies, and sometimes we just want the other person to feel the same pain we felt.

Why Forgiveness Feels So Difficult

1. The Hurt Runs Deep
   Some wounds cut so deeply that letting go feels like minimizing the pain. But forgiveness doesn’t erase what happened—it releases you from carrying it.
2. We Confuse Forgiveness With Excusing
   Forgiveness isn’t saying what happened was okay. It’s saying you won’t let bitterness control you.
3. We Wait for Feelings
   Many of us think we need to “feel ready” to forgive. But forgiveness is first a decision, not an emotion. Feelings often follow later.
4. We Forget the Process
   Forgiveness is sometimes a one-time decision, but often it’s a process of continually choosing to release the hurt to God.

What the Bible Teaches About Forgiving

Jesus Himself showed us the ultimate example of forgiveness. While on the cross, He prayed:

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” — Luke 23:34

Forgiveness isn’t natural—it’s supernatural. It comes from allowing God’s grace to flow through us. When we struggle to forgive, we can ask the Lord to give us His strength.

How to Begin the Journey of Forgiving

• Pray Honestly — Tell God your pain. He already knows. Ask Him for the strength to release it.
• Remember God’s Forgiveness Toward You — We forgive because we’ve been forgiven.
• Choose Release Daily — Every time the bitterness rises up, hand it back to God.
• Seek Healing — Forgiveness doesn’t mean ignoring the wound. Allow God to bring healing and, if needed, seek wise counsel.

Final Encouragement

Forgiveness is hard because it requires humility, surrender, and trust. But it’s also freeing. Holding on to unforgiveness keeps you chained to the past, while forgiving allows you to step into peace, healing, and freedom with God.

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” — Matthew 18:21–22

❤️ Forgiveness is not forgetting—it’s giving the pain to God and letting His love be stronger than the hurt.

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