How Do I Forgive Someone Who Hurt Me Deeply?

Forgiveness is one of the hardest commands God gives us. When someone wounds us deeply—through betrayal, abuse, rejection, or cruelty—the idea of forgiving them can feel impossible. Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending the pain wasn’t real. It doesn’t mean what they did was okay. It doesn’t even mean trusting them again. Forgiveness means choosing to release the bitterness and entrusting the pain to God so that you can be healed.

What the Bible Says About Forgiveness

Jesus spoke very directly about forgiveness:

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” — Matthew 6:14–15

God calls us to forgive because He has forgiven us through Jesus Christ. When we withhold forgiveness, we allow bitterness to take root in our hearts, which only keeps us tied to the pain. Forgiveness sets us free, not necessarily the other person.

Forgiveness Is a Process

Forgiving someone who hurt you deeply often doesn’t happen in a single moment. It’s a process you may have to walk through many times. Sometimes you may feel like you’ve forgiven, only for old wounds to resurface. That’s normal. Each time, you can bring the hurt back to God and ask Him to help you release it again.

Practical Steps Toward Forgiveness

1. Acknowledge the hurt honestly. Pretending it didn’t happen or minimizing it won’t help. God can handle your honesty.
2. Pray for strength. Forgiveness isn’t something we can do in our own power—it’s an act of God’s grace flowing through us.
3. Choose to release. Say to God: “I release my feelings around this hurt, help me to let go Lord.”
4. Seek healing. Surround yourself with Scripture, prayer, and supportive Christians who remind you of God’s truth.
5. Remember God’s forgiveness toward you. When you reflect on how much you’ve been forgiven, it softens your heart to extend forgiveness to others.

A Heart Healed by God

Forgiveness does not erase the past, but it invites God to redeem it. When you forgive, you take the heavy burden off your shoulders and allow God to bring peace, healing, and freedom. Forgiveness doesn’t excuse the wrong, but it does free you from carrying it forever.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32

Closing Prayer

Lord, You know the pain I carry from what was done to me. I confess I don’t have the strength to forgive on my own. Please give me Your grace to release this person into Your hands. Heal my heart, free me from bitterness, and fill me with Your peace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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